leaverage

Sunday

The New US Constitution

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

'We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other bed-wetters.

We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.'

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them , but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes .

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job.. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH SHIT. GET OVER IT.

20 comments:

Blaine A Dunnning said...

You shouldn't give them any more ideas, they have enough bad ones as it is.

admin said...

That's awesome. Too bad we are pressured to let go of our culture in the name of everyone else's culture that aren't even legally Americans.

We are Americans with an American culture... so sue me... really don't because with these judges you would probably win.

Michael said...

lol...That was a great post. With the way the left thinks though, they'd accuse you of being extreme, intolerant, and downright unAmerican. Don't you know that common sense is a character trait flaw that gets in the way of their rights? lol.

Citizen Journalist said...

I really, really like #5. Thanks for sharing this work. You can read my work at citizenjournalist04.blogspot.com

Matt said...

That's a great idea. It spells out some common sense that we desperately need.

tcjack said...

Love it. Was on a jury for a man that cut the tips of two fingers off with a table saw and thought Sears should pay for his carelessness. Justice did prevail after about 10 minutes of deliberation.

freearticlesforblogs said...

great post, i like when people call it straight as it is! Only way it should be - screw PC'ness!

MurrayPat said...

I basically said the same thing a few weeks ago on FB and I was told by people who know I am not racist that I am racist for HOURS. That is why I am now on Twitter.

MurrayPat said...

I said basically the same thing a few weeks ago on FB. I was told by people that know I am not a racist that I am a racist. That is why I am now on Twitter.

Spartan Liberty said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Absolutely beautiful my friend! I must share this! Thanks!

The Libertarian said...

Brilliant!!!

Doug said...

I love it! Couldn't have said better thank you. Keep 'em coming.

thundercatkp said...

Heehee...I like it ;)

Steve said...

Nice, people most certainly have gotten lost when it comes to rights. They need to understand natural law.
http://naturallaw.info/2011/11/17/definition-rights/

Craig Casey said...

Excellent! And it's says everything that's wrong with Obamacare. www.cobrahealth.com/Obamacare.html

Robert Lauer said...

Brilliant and true. America has some deciding to do.

glynn norgan said...

And the crowd goes wild. Good post :)

glynn norgan said...

And the crowd goes wild. Good post :)

glynn norgan said...

And the crowd goes wild. Good post :)

Pym Purnell said...

Nice one Cyril - its funny, because its true - not sure if I should be laughing or crying.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand."
Albert Einstein